Written while on retreat at the Motherhouse of the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia in Nashville, TN.
While much of my Solemn vows retreat has been spent directly meditating on Sacred Scripture, I also brought a novel with me, Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis.
For those unfamiliar, Till We Have Faces is a retelling of the Greek myth of Cupid and Psyche. In Lewis’s version, Psyche is taken away to live on the Grey Mountain as the wife of some unseen god. Her sister, Orual, seeks to win her back and to bring her home.
Orual cannot believe that Psyche is actually the lover of this unseen and unnamed god. Orual sees no palace, no grand feast, and no god. Even Psyche has not seen this god who comes to her in shadows and in night. Psyche is forbidden from seeing his face when he comes to her in the night.
For Orual, trained in Greek philosophy and guided by common sense, Psyche’s faith in her lover and husband is ridiculous. It must be untrue. This “god” must be either a terrifying brute or a conniving liar.
Psyche’s response is powerful:
“But why are you saying all this, Orual? You do not think I have let off loving you because I now have a husband to love as well? If you would understand it, that makes me love you—why, it makes me love everyone and everything—more.
To Orual, the truth is clear: this god is a myth, a fable and Psyche is at best crazed or delusional. Anyone with common sense would agree that there can be no such god, no such person, invisible and hidden and yet good and lovely. Surely he would reveal himself if he was beautiful and good? But again Psyche replies:
“But what is all this to me? How should they know? I am his wife. I know.”
The consecrated life seems to many in the world today to make little sense, except perhaps as a way of reducing obligations so as to serve people or the Church better or with greater availability. While that is a good, it is not the primary good which rests at the heart of consecrated life.
At the heart of the consecrated life is a deep, intimate and spousal relationship to God which flows over into a greater and deeper love for everyone and everything for God’s sake.
In the eyes of the world, the life of a consecrated person seems to be a waste and can seem to be predicated upon some lie or misconception. Why do these people hate the world so much that they flee to their convents and monasteries? Their love seems weak or illusionary.
But it only seems weak or illusionary to one who has not encountered the Living God, He Who is Love. To one who know the Lord, who knows God as lover and themselves as beloved, there is nothing greater. Like Psyche one might say “I know Him. I am his spouse.”
The consecrated person does not flee from love, but goes to the Source of Love, to the burning and consuming fire that is Our God. A consecrated person does not hate the world, but loves the world precisely as the creation of God whom they adore with their whole heart, and mind, and soul.
But perhaps like Orual we still have a question, even should all this prove true:
Why does God not show his face to us all? Why does he not vindicate in history and now his beloved ones? If we saw the palace, the grand feasts, and God himself, we would believe!
But how can we see God’s face, until we ourselves have faces? How can we see and experience the Living God when we do not even know ourselves and know the deep longings, fears, joys, and hesitations which fill our hearts? The consecrated life involves a deep intimacy with God by which God reveals us to ourselves, soothing our hearts and enriching our deep longing for Him.
But until we can begin to express those deep interior movements with the help of grace and the Holy Spirit, it will be difficult to see the Lord.
We have a final help which Orual and Psyche did not in that we have the Incarnate Word, Jesus. Jesus reveals to us the Father’s face, the face of Love, and makes known to us by His Paschal Mystery the depths of his care for us.
We, as consecrated men and women, must still come to know and understand this face more deeply, to see the deeply worn lines of care, agony, sorrow, and love which are carved onto the face of our Savior.
And perhaps in seeing and meditating upon the Face of Jesus we shall at last discover the forming of a similar likeness in our own face. Jesus Christ came, suffered, died, and rose again so that we might have faces again, that we might know ourselves and be found in Him. Jesus came so that we might converse with God, face to face. That we might see Him, love Him, and be with Him forever.
His face is the answer to all our wonderings and wanderings. No other answer is possible. And no other answer do we seek.
I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice? -C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces
Bro, where are the new posts?